As you may have noticed there was some time that occurred between my last post in February and my most recent, earlier yesterday. I can attribute this lapse to a number of extremely distracting events that have occurred over the last few months and then follow that with a lengthy explanation OR I can get back to what I enjoy and begin blogging again about the key factor in me finding and actually liking myself for the first time in longer than I can remember… I’m going to blog baby!
SO, to catch you up to speed in my transition, I’m approaching the 6 month time frame here in a just under 2 weeks! That means that for nearly the last 6 months I haven’t had a period, hair is rapidly growing in, out of and around the strangest places and my breasts have shrunk while other things have grown (including my feet despite what they say.) My jaw has become better and more defined, I think I can hit notes that only Barry Manilow could do before (that is when my voice isn’t cracking and sounding somewhat like Shaggy from Scooby Doo!) While I was warned that weight gain is a “side effect” of taking T that I should be cautious about, I have done nothing but lose body fat and gain muscle mass.
For the last several months it seemed as if the body I had desired all my life was actually becoming a possibility. I haven’t yet changed my name legally but friends and family have already begun calling me, at the very least, Nik… and if I am lucky they use the appropriate pro-nouns as well!
I only recently moved back to the Melbourne/Palm Bay area. Before August 4th I was living in and receiving treatment from doctors in the Vegas, Nevada area. Since August I have been trying to re-establish my insurance and doctors. During this time I ran out of my prescribed testosterone! Luckily, my doctor in the Vegas area is willing to work with me while I can get the appropriate doctors in this area. However, after running out, necessities such as the blood work had to be done and those results take 2 weeks to return from the lab (which will be this Monday the 24th.) Tomorrow I’ll have to go to an “Urgent Care” or similar type of facility so that they might fax the doctor in Vegas my vitals i.e. blood pressure, temperature, weight, etc. I mention all this because even though I’m almost 6 months into my transition, the last month has been without T.
All of the great changes I was SO excited about, the “on top of the world” feeling I had… Well, over the last month I‘ve watched it fade away. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is only a temporary set-back as I’m pretty sure that my prescriptions will be called in later this week and back on track I’ll be, however, watching my breasts “plump” back up, my hips begin to take shape again, my once incredibly deep voice now just deep and my face changing its shape again has been rather discomforting and downright depressing.
Now even though I’m not thrilled to be back pedaling in my transition, it has given me extra insight as to exactly what has changed about me – and even changed back since starting and stopping T. OH, and in case anyone was wondering, stopping T at just this far along does NOT slow down body hair growth. It doesn’t continue to thicken and grow more but say facial hair growth for example; whatever point you were at when you stopped… it doesn’t seem to change…at all.
So that is my update for now. I’m hopefully going to be back on track later this week with my T injections. After that I’ll be focusing on removing my chest tumors, masses, lumps… gynecomastia… whatever you want to call these much undesired things on my chest. After their removal then I concentrate on the legal name change and gender marker. I cannot wait until my driver’s license says MALE.
Suffering from Low T